Why?
by LlamaDuck
Summary: Jesse was gone, but now he's back. There's a glitch in his memory, but it's coming back! He's in the hospital, read and find out why...ALMOST NEARING THE END! If you want more, tell me, or it ends right after this chapter...
1. Chapter 1

I don't even know why I bother to wake up anymore. It's not like I have anything to look forward to now. My only one that I've ever loved is gone. Gone without a word or so much as a goodbye. For the one that he said that he loved. Father Dom told me that it would be coming eventually, but I didn't want to hear him. My mom thinks that I'm depressed or that I caught something from school. But I know the truth. The truth that I can't tell any of the therapists that she's dragged me to in the past month. They think that there's been a traumatic situation that I don't want to tell anyone for fear of another traumatic situation. Talk about repitition and half-truths. I've tried to go on with my life after it happened. But something inside me didn't want to believe what Father Dom had said happened. Maybe it was how uncomfortable he looked when he told me. Maybe it was how he rushed me out of his office when he heard that there was a call from "That sweet young man who you saw yesterday".

"Susannah, now you knew it was going to happen, this was why I warned you not to become attached to him like that. I told him the very same thing." Father Dom said as I came crying to his office that Monday after....I won't get into that now.

"But. Why? Why did he go? And without a goodbye or anything?" I cried the second the secretary let me into his office. "You know that he wasn't like that don't you? And what was it that he found that finally moved him on? Why couldn't he have told me goodbye or something? You were with him weren't you? I mean, he did live...well sort of anyway...at the rectory. The only person that could see him was you. Oh. What am I going to do now? Without him, I don't know how I can deal with Paul. The shifting lessons are absolutely pointless...." I trailed off. About that time, Father D. stopped me to ask a question I should have known was coming next.

"What shifting lessons? Paul? Why did you take them in the first place? But..."

I cut him off there. " I only did it to save Jesse! I don't know if he got rid of him on his own or what. All I know now, is that Jesse's gone! He's gone!" At that, I burst into tears--again.

"Now now, Susannah, don't cry so hard. You knew the responsibilities of this kind of um... relationship that you had with Jesse. Eventually, he had to move on. He couldn't have stayed here anymore. His timing is just perfect for him." And at that time, as I was trying to ask him exactly how he knew all this, the secretary interrupted.

"Father Dominic, That sweet young man who you saw yesterday is on the phone for you."

"Thank you. Okay now Susannah, I think that it's time for you to go now. Back to class. We'll see you later. Good luck!"

And that was the end of that matter. After taking some tissues, I went down to the cemetary. Mostly to look at Jesse's grave. Maybe if I wished really hard...but no. It wouldn't happen.

When I got there, I just sunk down onto the ground and used up all of my tissues. I had to be strong. It's not like I'll never see him again. He'll be up in heaven or the next life or whatever. I'm sure I'll see him again. I think.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I decided to try the next chapter. Some people haven't read Twilight so they might know what I'm talking about. Thanx Ginny Weasley's Double for reviewing. I still don't know if I'll finish it, but I had a last moment inspiration. If no one reviews, then I dont' know what to do due to this dang writer's blockish stuff. urrrr.......**

**here tis!!**

Chapter 2 Feel Better Soon**  
**

When my mom was trying to get me up for school the next day, I told her that I didn't feel too well. She wasn't buying it. But really I wasn't. And to prove this, I went into the bathroom and threw up. She let me stay home. Puking all day is not how I imagined my day off, mourning my loss, would be like. My mom wanted to go into work, so I told her that I'd be fine here on my own. I am sixteen. And I only threw up 3 times all day. Andy popped in once or twice durring his breaks at work. He made me some chicken soup and brought me a magazine from my mom's bathroom. How sweet. I didn't cry as much as I thought that I would. But, on the other hand, I had tons more on my mind than Jesse.

Father Dom called once to ask why I wasn't in school. He sounded rushed and like he was hiding something from me, but asked why I was gone and when I was coming back. I told him, I was throwing up, and that I thought that I'd be back tomorrow or the day after. He seemed pleased with this answer so I hung up and took another nap.

_I was walking through an unfamiliar graveyard when I heard a few voices calling my name. Susannah! Susannah! Suze!, they called. All of the voices sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place them. I was just getting to figure them out, when I saw Jesse. Susannah! I heard it again! Where was it coming from? I realized that it was Jesse calling my name. I tried to run to him, but I was stuck by a force so cold, so binding. Susannah! Don't come near him! It's a trap! Father Dominic. I recognized that voice. I knew that voice! But how could I go to him if I was stuck in this cold force. It was like being trapped inside of Paul's eyes. Paul! That was it! _

And at that time, I was shaken awake by Andy. "Phone's for you Suze. Are you ok? You were shaking and pale when I came in here. Are you feeling any better? Oh. Yes. The phone. It's Father Dominic. He said something about sending homework for you. If you want, I can tell him that you're not up now. Do you want me to?"

"No. Thanks. I'll be down in a minute." When I got downstairs, Father D.'s voice rushed at me so quickly I couldn't quite catch what he said

"Will you say that again please Father? I didn't catch a word of that."

"Ok. Well. There was a new student at school today. I was going to have you show him around, but you weren't here. Are you feeling better?"

"Um. Yes. When did this "new student" that you're so excited about show up? This morning? I thought maybe that you sounded different..." I finished.

"Oh. Then. Yes. He had shown up just a few minutes prior to that. I wasn't quite sure of him, but, now I think that he needs to talk to you. A lot. He says that your name doesn't ring a bell, but I think that you will recognize him."

"I should be back in school tomorrow. My mom says that I probably caught the twenty-four-hour flu. It's been going around the office and she said that she must have brought it home to me."

"I'm sorry. I hope you feel better soon. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Ok, Susannah?"

"Yes. See ya tomorrow," I said as I thought, wonder who the new kid is and why Father D. is so anxious for me to meet him?

**ok. I think that must cover it. Sorry if it sucks. I still havent' a clue what is going to happen. But I think that next chapter, if I get it done, I dont' know if I will, someone will make an apperance. I don't know what to do about Paul. I'm not a Paul person. if anyone has suggestions, I'd like to know!!**

**luv**

**Kath**


	3. Chapter 3

**So. Here's chapter 3. Hope you enjoy. Guess who you get to meet.....new kid!!!! thanx for reviewing. Now I feel special. Still, if anyone has ideas about what to do w/ Paul. I have no clue if I'm going to make him get hit by a bus, train, car, or other means of transportation, or if I'm going to let him live. Feel the power!! sorry. IT had to come out somehow. My ten year old bro thinks that everyone including Jesse should be abducted and eaten by aliens. And he's my only feedback.so... Thanks for reading.**

When I woke up the next morning, my mom was worried that I wasn't well enough to go to school, but I told her that Father Dominic was expecting me, because of my vice president requirements, to show the new guy around school. What my mom didn't know was that I wasn't expected to do any of that because of being vice president, I was just doing it because Father Dominc said that I should. I didn't want to, but I had to see why he was so anxious to have me back at school. I went down to eat some of the oatmeal that Andy had made for us this morning. Brad and David were leaving, and told me that if I wasn't out in a minute, they were leaving. Grabbing my bag, I ran out the door and got in just in time. Brad was ready to drive out of the garage just as I hopped in.

At school, Sister Ernestine told me that Father Dominic wanted me in his office right now. I went and saw someone that I never thought I'd see. Ever again.

"Oh good, Susannah, you're here. Hector, this is Susannah, Susannah, I believe you would like to know Hector de Silva. He just transfered here. This will be his last year in high school, and he thought that he would like to find out more about the Christian faith."

I was speechless. Jesse? Here? How? And why was Father Dominic acting like Jesse didn't know me. Why was Jesse looking at me like that? He knows me!

And he just continued on, a little bit frazzled, but still. "Hector, this is Susannah. She prefers to be called Suze. But don't you think that's vulgar?"  
"Yes. It rather is. Hello Susannah." As he said that, I could swear I saw something pass through his eyes. But you know me, I'll exaggerate anything. At least that's what Father D. has to say about it. Unfortunately, I was unable to say much more than I usually am when I am dumbfounded.

"Um. Hi. Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar. Do I know you Jesse? Oops. I mean Hector." He was wearing brown cords with a black shirt. My knees went week and jelloid. He looked so hot-- and modern..But then, he always does. Modern Jesse. Hot Jesse. I loved the sound of it Jesse. My Jesse. But if he was my Jesse, why didn't he know me? Why? Why did I fall in love with the hot, sweet, caring eighteenth century ghost that used to haunt my bedroom. Why had he not remembered me when _he came back to life?_ How is this? Why is this?

"Jesse? you must have me confused with someone else. No. You do look familiar to me, but I dont' think I knew you." Yes you do. You have to. Must I tell you! Must.  
"Yes you must have confused him with someone else didn't you Susannah." He said this with a firmness that said, 'Don't disagree. It will get you nowhere. Understand me?' Hum. Well that wasn't like Father Dom at all. I'd have to have a talk with him later...

"Yeah. You're right Jes...I mean Hector." Hector. Did that ever sound weird coming from my mouth. Hector. Damn. That was Jesse. I just knew it. Something inside of me was screaming at me for not giving him a hug or something. After all, he had just told me that he loved me not too long ago. I wonder what is up with that. "What's your first class? I'm going to Mr. Walden's class."

"That's where I'm going too isn't it Father?"

"Yes. Ok Susannah. Thank you for showing Hector around. If you would walk with him to all of his classes today and maybe tomorrow, then I'd give you a late pass. Ok? Well, have a nice day you two!"

"I'll be by later to have a talk with you Father Dom. There's something I need to ask you."

"Sure, sure Susannah. Now, to class with the both of you. Have a nice day children" And so Jesse--or Hector, I guess--walked out of Father D's office and down the hallway.

"So, Hector, do you need to go to your locker?" Hector. It still sounded foreign to me. Hector. I couldn't get over it. He didn't remember me. Not one bit. But why?

"Yes, I do. Would you be so kind as to show me, Susannah?" Again that look passed through his eye. I knew I wasn't imagining it!

"Ok. What number is it? Um, 279? Huh.Ok. That's right by mine. I still have to go get my books and stuff, so let's walk" I said that a lot more cheerful than I felt then. Jesse was back, he didn't remember me a bit, Father Dom knew something, Jesse knew something, and I was clueless. We walked down the hall, and I remembered Heather. She was a bitch. And I mean that. I'm glad that she is gone and not coming back. Jesse followed me, not taking in the surroundings like most new students did, but just walking. Like had did this for a lot longer than I have. Like a hundred and fifty years

Arriving at our destination, my locker, I got my books and then we walked six lockers down to Jesse's locker. Mr. Walden's door was almost across the hall, and CeeCee could see right out the door at us. She started waving under her desk, so as to say, get your butt in here and explain all of it. I waved back to signal that I would. Just let me finish. She seemed content with this, and I waited for Jesse to put his coat in the locker.

But at that time, who should appear but someone that I didnt' think that Jesse needed to know about just yet. Great. Now I have to hold a conversation while my one true love is right next to me, not remembering a thing--not a single thing--about me. Also my one true love that has come to my school and doesn't know anything about it. Oh joy. Joy of all joys. Here we go again.

So. How did you like that? I hope it was lovely in several ways. Is it too long like dragging on long? I don't know what to do about much, sorta making it up on my way. But if you like it, I will continue, if not, well, say something. But please don't be merciless. I'm not that bad I dont' think.  
but, Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it and I'll start working on the next chapter. 

toodles  
luv  
Kath


	4. Chapter 4

Ok. You guys are great. Whether or not you review, thanx. bear wif me. I don't have any clue where this story is going. It's like a runaway train. But It's a good runaway train. It's not running over any chipmunks or squirrels or anything like that. here you go. Chappy four!!!

**Oh yes. By the way, I do not own any of this, just the dumb old plot. I'm not Meg Cabot. Obviously, as you can see how much my writing sucks. But that's ok.**

**Suze **

Yay. I wasn't expecting Paul to show up. I thought he would have been in his seat in the last row along with CeeCee and Adam, Kelly, Debby, and the rest of them. But no. Today was the day that he had chosen to be late. Of all days, he had to run an errand for his grandpa. That is so unlike Paul. I wonder what is going on. It's like the three people that knew me best--Father Dom, Jesse, and well...I guess Paul doesnt' know me that well, but still, Paul--were in cahoots or something. They had been in an elaborate scheme or who knows what. Gosh. Someone stop me before I get carried away. Oh. Right. On to Paul and Jesse.

"deSilva? Is that you? But? What? Wh...Huh?" Paul spluttered out a few words in confusion.

"Do I know you? How did you know my name? Why is it that everyone in this school knows me. I know both of you look familiar, but I don't know either of you. What is your name, you, over there?"

"Paul Slater. But don't tell me. I know who you are. You're Jesse deSilva. You died in the eighteen fifties. Your fiancee orderd you murdered by the guy that she loved, Felix Deigo. You died, hung around as a ghost for a hundred and fifty years in Suze's bedroom until she showed up. I know who you are. I helped my little brother exorcise your ghost summer before last. Then Suze came up to the Shadowland to save you. You broke my nose. You almost killed me at Suze's stepbrother's party last year. Nearly drowned me. So how is it that you're alive. Suze was weeping her eyes out because you were gone. She didn't come to school for a week or so. You have the nerve to show up now. And you dont' even have the decency to apologize?" Wow. Paul was trying to wring some apology out of Jesse. But one wasn't coming. And Paul should've known that. When Jesse said that he didn't know Paul, I think he ment it. Really ment it.

"Paul!" I hissed "Shut up! He really doesnt' recognize you! Now you just go into class, hand in your note or whatever. Go to Father Dominic, do _something_. Just leave. Me. Alone. I. Am. Sick. Of. You. Right. Now. OK? Ok."

"Whatever you say Suze, But you know that your'e just mad because Rico Suave doesnt' know who you are..." Grr.

"Who was that? And why was he making up all that stuff about ghosts. I have never been exorcised. I have exorcised a few in my time, but how did he know that my mother used to be the only one to call me Jesse. But more importantly, how did you know when you first walked into the Father's office? Did Father Dominic let your read my file or something? I think that that is not right if he let you. If that is the case, I shall have to talk with him. I do like some things in my life to remain my business."

Woah. This was way too much to process for my brain. Jesse. Mad. Mediator. Exorcism. All in the same speach like thing. Father Dom was not getting off easy on this one. Boy wasn't he.

**Paul**

That was just what the priest told me to do. Act like that. Suze, I think, was fooled by my acting. She looked like the people that knew her one secret had betrayed her and played a horrible joke on her. I know she'll go to the good father for answers, and I know just what she is going to get. Nil.

**Suze**

I don't know what I was going to tell CeeCee. She knew something was up. That was not just the new guy that came in the door with me, he was also an extreme hot Latino guy that, or so she said, looked at me with love in his eyes. Uh huh. Sure. You can all pop out and scare the shit outta me because I'm on Candid Camera or something. But no one did anything, Mr. Walden just asked who this was that I was accompaning, and asked Jesse to come and introduce himself. So he did, it was just the usual, name, age, favorite cookie, no, just kidding. Not cookie. Where you moved from: A ranch in the middle of nowhere. Just what Father D. had told me earlier.

Cee's note said that I was going to be doing some explaining. I had shown her the miniature that I had gotten from the historical museum. And that Picture clicked in her mind when she saw "Hector". She thought that he was majorly hot (who wouldn't?) and you could tell that Debbie and Kelly were figuring out ways to ask him out, or have him sit with them at lunch. But as far as I knew, he was coming with me durring lunch to have a nice chat with Father Dominic.

Lunch finally rolled around and I found Jesse trying to worm his way out of a group of what looked like rabid popular girls. Seriously. They were all running around clutching pieces of paper and following him, "Hector! Hector!" " I'm !" "Call me!! Here's my phone number!" "My number is ###-####!". Like they weren't making him think that all twenty first century girls have some serious issues.

Thinking that Jesse would need a hand, I called over, "J--Hector! Come on! Father Dominic is waiting in his office for you. He sent me to come and get you."

Literally running over to me and saying, "Hello Susannah. I forgot that Father Dominic wanted me to see him. I shall come. Are you coming to show me where the office is? I've forgotten." Several crys of "I'll take you there!" rose up from the rabid group of popular people.

"I will take him. You might kill him or maul him or something." Well, you never know. And by the way those girls were chasing him, he may not ever get out again. "Ok, Jesse. I think you're safe from them now. If they come after you again, I'll chase them off. I didn't get to be vice president of the junior class for nothing, you know."  
"Um, whatever." I'll just bet he didn't get a word of what I said. Not a single word. I was babbling in my mind and outside of it. Darn. I hate when I do that. Oh well, if he was coming into my turf, and didn't remember me, to top it off, then he was going to learn my rules.

Where the heck did that thought come from? I am so psycho today.

Finally, finally, in this uncomfortable, yet companionable silence, we made it to Father D's office. I know it was like a three minute walk, but it seemed like three hours. We opened the door and went in to talk to the good father.

**Jesse**

She did know who I was. Susannah, the name was vaguely familiar. I know her from somewhere, my mind kept going. But where? It feels like she knows my soul. She is my other half. My soulmate. But why couldn't I remember her? It hurt deep inside me to fool her that I didn't have a slight clue. The father called me Hector.I could see recognition pass through her eyes. Every time I said her name, it was like something inside of me was screaming, how could you not know her? She obviously knows you! Say something Jesse! You're not Hector to her. You're Jesse. Say something. Just say it!

But I couldn't. Father Dominic had said something about me being a ghost and haunting the bedroom of Susannah Simon. He told me a bit about her.

She had moved to Carmel, California about a year or so ago from Brooklyn New York. She was about 5 feet, 10 inches. Her hair was long and dark, but it was her eyes that he couldn't explain. He said that she has got green eyes. What he didn't say was that she knew me inside and out--with those eyes. Eyes so green that they could literally see inside of me. I know I"m sounding strange and odd. Even to myself I am sounding like that. When she walked in, my breath went straight out of my lungs and I tried to keep my cool.

Father Dominic said something to me, but I wasn't capable of understanding what it was. So I just said yes. Susannah called me Jesse. No one, has called me that for a very long time. My mother and my sisters used to, but that seems so long ago. They aren't clear to me, but I'm sure that Father Dominic can explain it to me. He seems to know a lot more about me than I can dig up from inside of myself.

"Um. Hi. Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar. Do I know you Jesse? Oops. I mean Hector." Jesse. The words hit me like, I know her from somewhere. I just know it.

I replied back with the only thing that I could think of. A lie. Or something like one. "Jesse? you must have me confused with someone else. No. You do look familiar to me, but I dont' think I know you." It was a lie and an understatement. She did not notice. I believe.

Father Dominic said that I should just go along with this make believe schedual that he made for me. So I did. My first class, Mr. Walden's, was with Susannah. Every time her name was said, I felt my eyes go softer and love flooded through me. I think that she noticed that though, because her eyes would widen--only a bit though--and she would take in just a bit more air. Breathing. I didn't breath for a hundred and fifty years. And now I have been alive for nearly 2 and a half months.

Paul. It was Paul that helped to bring me back to life. What he didn't say was that I would have no to little recolection of any of my life. As a ghost or otherwise. Father Dominic didn't know either. So he told Susannah that I had gone on to my next life.

And then I woke up in a strangely cold and sterile place. I was told that this was Paul's house. There was a lot that I didnt' know. I didn't have any memory past from when I was five or six. I thought that I had to go out and feed the dogs.

But all is well now, and I have a small grasp of the twenty first century.

Before Susannah and I were able to make it to our first class, Paul showed up. I already knew him, but, Father Dominic told me that I was to act like I didn't know him. I don't know why he did that, but he did. After, he told me that he would tell me all about this girl named Susannah Simon. This much I was told about her: I had known her for about a year, she was the exact opposite of the girls from my century, and that she couldn't stand Paul. Also, he told me, Right before Pauld had brought me back from the dead, her and I were in love. I had confessed my love to her, promising that I would never leave her. She was so thankful for that, and I vanished in her arms. He said that she told me that nothing of the living mattered to her, children, marrige, all of those things that a woman dreams of, only loving me was what she wanted.

Paul acted--and very well I might add--that he was disgusted and shocked to see me. He had told me that if I tried to make Susannah like me, then he would take my life again and I would be stuck wandering a lonely plain that he called the Shadowland. "Suze is mine." those were his exact words. But in the hall, Susannah seemed less than pleased to see him. He knew so much more about me the I could remember or that Father Dominic could tell me.

On my way to see Father Dominic at lunch, I was mobbed by a bunch of the popular looking girls. For some reason they were all asking for my phone number. I was staying in a spare room in the rectory until I got a birth certificate and records. When that happened, I could get an apartment of my own. As I was making my way to the office, trying to ignore the girls all around me, Susannah came and beat them off. Never have I been so happy to see someone in my life. I believe that if she had a stick, she would have been waving it around in the air, threatening to hit people with it. After being fought over for a short time more, they left us alone.

When we got to the office, we walked inside to Father Dominic's office. I knew what he was going to tell Susannah. He had plans worked out to keep her from finding out it was me, so she wouldn't break her heart or get too attached. Being alive had an attachment to it. I could drop dead at any second. Never knowing when, or why, I'd be dead. I believe that Paul had an idea though. He seemed to know enough about me now. What more could he know?

**Ok. Well there's chapter 4. Hope ya liked it. I'll go work on ch.5 for now!!**

** see ya later**

**luv  
Kath**


	5. Chapter 5

Loreli:** ya. I've read Twilight. I thought it was the best book on the planet! I have to bring it everywhere with me. Oh, and if you got that email from me, that's good cause my email sucks sometimes...**

mOochiko**: I don't think I'll kill off Paul. He and Father D know something. But what it is can remain a mystery until later. Ohh don't kick yourself too hard! it hurts!!**

**Thanks you guys. I'm glad you're reading. Hope I don't confuse the crap out of you. Tell me if I do please. Thanks much, **

Kath

When we walked into Father Dom's office, he said that he was swamped in papers. He also said that if we needed to talk to him, to come back later and he'd be glad to answer any questions. Not the ones I was planning on asking him, I bet.

Since there was still fifteen minutes of lunch left, I decided to show Jesse the rest of the school. We went to his locker and got out his books. He already had a binder, so, all he needed was textbooks. That's Jesse. Or at least, it was. I showed him the library, just to see what he would do, what his reaction was.

In the library, his eyes lit up and he high tailed it to the reference section. My least favorite place. Not only are the books boring and dull, but the the organization is just hard to figure out. I waited until Jesse had a couple books (If you can you believe it, he picked out like five in under five minutes.) He'd read all of the books in here before the end of next month if he kept up this pace. We went up to the desk, and he checked them all out. Now, we had to go back over to his locker to dump a few off. He put two of them in his backpack, and the other three went on a shelf in his locker.

I walked in the direction of the lunchroom, because if he was being mobbed, he probably didn't have time to see it. Then after that, we went to the courtyard, and I asked if he wanted to see the graveyard. I didn't know if he would, but surprisingly, he did.

We walked out there, and Jesse's gravestone was gone. That's strange, I didn't notice it wasn't there. It was there earlier, I thought... I wonder what happened to it. He walked around and noticed the Diego graves. When he looked closer at them, he ran his hand over them, not quite looking at them. I told him the little bit that we learned about him, and he just nodded his head every once and a while.

After that, it was pretty much time to go back to class. When I asked, he handed me his list of classes. That's weird, he's in all of my classes but one. Huh. Oh well, this would make it easier for me to keep an eye on him so he didn't get pummeled by Paul.

Walking to class, Jesse was awfully quiet. He was like that for the rest of the day. Which was just fine with me, I mean, I had much less to do. I didn't have to listen, I didn't have to join in a conversation. I was too stunned to do any of that. It was catching up with me, having someone that looked just like Jesse. He sure looked much hotter in modern clothes than he did in the eighteenth century ones.

The weeks passed, one like the other, nothing happened. I was too busy with my schoolwork to go in and have a long talk with Father Dom, so I just put that aside for now. Or I thought that I did until one day when Jesse dropped his binder.

It was the one that he carried everywhere, never forgetting, never letting anyone open it. I think that if he could've put a lock on it, he would have. I didn't know what he was hiding in there, until he dropped it. Papers flew everywhere, and he muttered a curse under his breath--in Spanish, no less. He only resorted to Spanish when he was really frustrated or angry.

Because I knew that the bell was going to ring soon, I hurried to help him pick up all of the papers that fell. Boy did that not last long when I found something with my name on it.

**Ok. I know this one is short, but I'm starting the next one ASAP! I promise. I'll be working on ch.6 for a bit. I know what's gonna happen, I just have to put it in words now!!! **

**Hope you enjoyed this shorty ch.5,**

**Kath **


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok! here it is! I tried my hardest to not take forever, but the dumb phone kept ringing and I couldn't get on the internet. My mom has decided to play marrige counselor for a while. She gets like hour and a half long phone calls from most of her friends that need marrige help. Why anyone would want to be on the phone for that long, I have no clue. But, here it is...Chapter Six!! Most of this chapter will be in Jesse's POV tho. Hope it can clear up just a little. **

**

* * *

Suze**

Well. Much to my surprise,

It was a poem. To me. Or it was to me, the me before Jesse left. Because it reminded me of right before Jesse left, and all of this stuff happened. There were quite a few of them, but, none of them were to me now. How I had become.

Over the seven or so months that Jesse had been gone, and Hector had come to the Mission, I had put on a mask that hid my emotions. I'd cry only at night, when I felt that I would burst from being so sad and alone. In the morning, the feeling would be gone, only to see him again later in the day, and all the rest of the day, and feel so alone. Becase he was the only one that I'd ever loved. He'd acted just like one of my distant friends. Not as close as CeeCee and Adam, but still, he was nice, and occasionally we'd have a conversation. He wasn't uncomfortable, just a different Jesse. He wasn't much different. This was why I suspected that Father Dominic and Paul weren't telling me something. I wish that they would just tell me.

There were probably at least twenty poems in there. That I noticed, anyway. Those were about me. There were about ten more with Paul, Maria (the ghost Maria that I met), and Father Dominic. Why a guy would want to write a poem about Father Dominic was beyond me. Thirty or so poems that I gathered up, and a handful more that Jesse gathered up.

I was too stunned to speak. Jesse, whose face was getting redder and redder by the second, just stood there too. I think he recovered first though. He was the first one to speak, so that's what I'm thinking.

"Susannah. I'm sorry. I know you must think of me...uh..." he paused and thought for a minute, while I, standing there like an idiot, turned redder by the second. " You must think I'm crazy, but I don't think that I knew you. I would get these thoughts in my head, and the next thing I knew, I'd be writing them down. I decided to just have a binder of them. As you see, I wrote a lot of them. Not all are about you, though."

"Yeah, I noticed" Briliance. Sheer briliance. I love myself!

"Yes. Apparantly I did know you, Paul, Father Dominic, some guys named David, Brad, and Jake, among other people at this school. The thing that confuses me so, is, how much different you are in my poems then you are now. Whatever had happened to you must have been big." Oh boy! You have no clue buddy!

"Uh, I guess you could say that." FATHER DOMINIC! That's it! I'll go talk to him and he must know something! I know he must! "Maybe Father Dominic knows something that I don't. And Paul..." Now it was getting out of it. I was talking out loud. To myself. Joy!

"Sure. Maybe he will. I can't miss my class after lunch though. We have a test that I can't afford to miss. It can't be made up. And after school, I have plans. Is it ok if we do this later? I don't know when I'll be free." Looks like I"m not the only one that babbles uncontrollably, am I?

"Ok. That's fine with me. Good luck on your test later." He started to walk away, and my mouth found it's own mind to speak. "Wait! Jesse! Oops. I mean, Hector, I liked your poems. They're the happiest thing that has happened in a very long time."I don't know if he heard me or not, but I think he did, because the tips of his ears turned red at me. If that was any sign, he must know something too. I don't have any clue what, but I had that feeling that I was going to find out.

**

* * *

Jesse**

What I had not wanted her to know, she knows. Right after I met her, I started to remember things. Things that were unfamilliar to me. I did not know what her room looked like, or the view from her windowseat. I had never had a cat named Spike, no one named Gina called it ugly. I never did anything to Paul to anger him, and yet he is still like that. Cold and rude to everyone. He never changed. But the Susannah I have come to know well, and the Susannah that once knew "me" are very different. One was happy and in love, and the other is depressed and still in love.

When John brushed my binder, and it fell, I knew, all at once, that I could no longer keep this from her. She'd know all about something that would only hurt her. At least that's what Father Dominc said.

I had come to ask him about taking another class, and Paul was in his office too. Paul, I know, rarely comes in Father Dominic's office. They are complete opposites. I walked in on Paul, in the middle of his sentence.

"Father, I have....."

"....Suze can't know about this. I know. He's gaining memory....deSilva? Well speak of the devil! we were just talking about you."  
"Jesse? What are you doing here?"

"Uh, I don't remember. What were you saying Paul? What are you saying?" So they told me the whole thing. From begining to end. All about my ghost life and before I was murdered.

"Well, Jesse. You were murdered in the year 1850 by a man named Felix Diego. You were on your way to break off an engagement to his secret girlfriend, and your cousin, Maria deSilva. She wanted to make you look like you were walking out on your wedding, so she had Diego kill you. He strangled you in your sleep and burried your body in the back of Susannah's backyard. Right where her jacuzzi is I believe. You, on the other hand, stuck around the boardinghouse, or Susannah's house now, where you were murdered for a hundred and fifty years.

"And then Susannah and her mother moved to Carmel and they bought the house. She got the room that you haunted. Even though I warned her not to, she fell in love with you. You loved her too, and as I told Paul it was okay to bring you back to life, you and Susannah were..uh...sharing your feelings with each other. When you disappeared, she was heartbroken. And she remained that way for many months. I believe that she is still like that. She fell into a depression and couldn't do much. Her mother didn't know what was wrong with her, and sent her to several psychologists. They determined nothing.

"At that time, Paul called me and told me that something had gone wrong with bringing you back to life. He said that you were frantic, because your dogs had not been fed, and you were going to be in trouble for it. He spoke to you, informing you of your position, I assumed. But that's not how it was. You knew nothing of what happened, and he took advantage of you.

"That was wrong Paul, and you knew it. Now, if you have something to say, either of you, speak up now."

"When I brought you back to life Jesse, I ment for Suze to be happy. She deserved to have you. She'd never love me like she loved you. I didn't mean to break her heart, but then when you didn't remember her, I panicked and told Father Dom that we should just tell her that your ghost moved on. We did, and it was like you did in a way. That was when I locked you up with that computer and a credit card, and told you to order anything you wanted and that I'd go and get books and such for you. I didn't want Suze to be hurt, but, it was either that, or she'd hate me forever. She just kind of moved through life in a daze, and cried all the time. It really hurt her, but I thought that it'd just make her stronger." I started to growl at him as he was telling me. He hurt sweet Susannah, and knew it. She suffered and I couldn't help.

"Woah, Jesse. Let him finish. Don't go acting like that or I won't tell you the rest." I had to calm down, because I had to tell Susannah. I had to. She'd be so happy. But unfortunately, Paul's next words hit me.

"I thought that even though you were alive and well, and starting to remember things, you might die again. The article that I found the incantation in said that usually, people that didn't regain memory often suffered of fatal heart attacks. Especially if the person had died more than a century ago. That applied to you, and then I told Father D about it.

"When you started to regain your memory again, I checked the article and it didn't say if you were more likely to stay or have a heart attack. We agreed that we'd watch you for like four weeks and see how you stayed alive. You're on week two right now, and we're still deciding if we should tell Suze. I think that we should, she'd be so happy, and now they have much more medical science to save you if you tried to kick the bucket."

"Until these weeks are over Jesse, you can't tell Susannah. She'd be too happy, and then if you were suddenly to drop dead, she'd be devistated. Again. We can't do that to her."

"Ok Father. And something you should know, I've been remembering much more. I do know more about my life in 1850. And I remember almost everything up until the night I died clearly. I only catch glimpses of my time as a ghost. But what I have caught, I've written down. You're welcome to read some of them." I think it best not to let him read the ones of Susannah. I'd be too embarrased. Like this one. I belive it was the first one that Susannah happened to see and read the most of.

Glimpses of Green Eyes

Febuary 4

_Querida, how much I feel for you. _

_You mean everything to me_

_Watcihng you, never able to love you as you deserve._

_Your green eyes seek my attention,_

_My own plain ones,_

_Try to meet them._

_Too bright to comprehend, _

_You see me, _

_Know me._

_I want to know you the same. _

_If only you felt the same as I do._

_If only_

_Your green eyes haunt me all day long,_

_All night long_

That was what Susannah saw. I've seen her eyes in my "glimpses" or whatever you want to call them, and they used to shine with happiness. Now, they're just dull green, masked with pain and sadness. So different. I wish there was a way to make them look the same again. But I have two more weeks to waste away. If I don't drop dead, I might be able to make her happy again.

When I finally got all my poems and "glimpses" cleaned up. Susannah saw most of them, and now she knows something is up. She's going to go to Father Dominic and he's going to tell her something. Not what she wants to hear. I tried to hurry and avoid any comments that she'd have on the poems, but I didn't get far, because the last thing I heard her say to me was, "Wait! Jesse! Oops. I mean, Hector, I liked your poems. They're the happiest thing that has happened in a very long time." My face got hot, and I walked faster. She knows! I'm still Jesse to her. There may be a hope that I can see her eyes shine with happiness again! Only two more weeks, two more. Too long for me to wait.

**

* * *

Okay there! hope you liked this chapter too. Sorry about the poetry. I know it sucks. If I was going to have mentioned poetry, I had to write some. It would't do to not have any in there. Ideas are welcome, thanks for reviewing you guys! You so rock!!! Keep with me. I'll try to make it ALL clear soon. See ya soon,**

**Kath**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok then! Thanks so much for reviewing! You guys ((and I'm saying it again...))rock! Thank you sooooo much! Hope you liked Chapter six. It was fun to write! Sorry about the cheesy poetry. It hurt my eyes to write and read it. Naw. I'm just kidding! And the time that has passed since Suze met Jesse, and now has been like six or seven weeks, making this about...like a month and a half, almost two. And oh my gosh! **ValiantGoddess **Yes! I did get my name from Albino Blacksheep! My friend sings it nonstop! lol!**

**Suze**

I wish I had snagged one of those poems from Jesse's binder. Then maybe I could have stared at it for ages and found an answer. It seems like he knows something. He and I have become pretty good friends, or we would have if I had been able to get over the real Jesse a long time ago. But I can't. He was my world, and now, there's nothing that I want to live for.

Now don't go getting all worried. I'm not going to kill myself, I just want to cry...again. It feels like most of my nights are spent crying, and most of the afternoons too. I can't cry at school, it just won't happen. I thought I'd have time to go to Father Dom's office later, like at lunch, but I didn't. He wasn't there. I wonder where he went. Oh gosh! I hope he's not hurt again! But come to think of it, where is Paul? He hasn't been annoyingly all over me lately, that's a relief. I only have one more class and then I'm out of this pit for the day... thank heavens!

When I got home, my mom was already there. Lately, she hasn't been getting home for about another hour. I hope she's not taking me to another shrink. I hate going and answering dumb questions for hours on end. It does nothing for me, or anyone that wants to know what I"m up to either.

"Oh good, Susie, you're home. Where's Brad and David" Of course, they hadn't seen my mom's car, and bolted inside, they were taking time coming in. Goodness knows why. It's HOT out there!

"Uh, they're coming, I think. Why are you home early anyway Mom? I thought you had to work for another hour."

"Well, Andy and I were thinking that we'd have some family time. You've changed so much lately. What's up sweetie"

"I'm just tired lately" I lied. Well, only partly. I am tired. Just not what she thinks. "They're swamping us with homework again. I'm going to go up and try to knock off a chunk of that darn homework before dinner, OK"

"No. You and Brad, Jake, David, Andy, and I are going to take some of that family time just as soon as...Oh. There they are. Brad, David, come here for a minute will you please" She told them the same stuff I heard, and they told her the same thing I told her. Homework..ya ya ya. I took this stalling time to go dump my backpack and change. Comfort clothes would work well.

I changed into my favorite faded, ripped, black jeans, and a black shirt. Even though I look terrible with my hair up, I pulled it into a pony tail. Dealing with it just wasn't going to work right now.

Who knows when Jesse would work up the guts to go see Father Dom, judging by the way he acted today anyway. If only Father D. would tell me his phone number, then I could call and make a plan, and then I wouldn't have to work anything out. Much.

I got called down to dinner, and was expecting some of that wonderful "family time". My mom must have been all planned out, because she didn't say anything about it. We had a nice dinner, at least until my mom had to go and drop the bomb.

"Oh, Susie, you know that boy Father Dominic was talking about, Hector I think his name was, you know? Well, Father Dominic said that he doesn't get out much, and you two know each other fairly well, and that he could use a good homecooked meal. So we invited him for dinner tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful"

"Sure mom. What time is he coming over"

"The usual dinner time. Seven." Oh. Joy. Boy guess who's excited? 'Ol Suze! Don't we all know though"Is that OK with you" Do I have a choice? No. Do I ever? No.

"Yeah, I guess. I don't have a say do I"  
"Well of course you do" Andy decided to make me feel better, even though you could totally tell he was lying. And you could tell by the look my mom was giving him. I was the Shut-up-now-or-else look. Wow.

"Come on Susie, he hasn't had a home cooked meal in what? Ten years" I think it's been more than that...

"I don't know Mom, all I know is that he goes to school with me, and that he's in six of my classes."

"Well ok, don't get so mad, honey, I was just trying to help" Ok mom, whatever. If you don't want to make me like this, then don't invite dear "Hector" over for dinner.

"I'm fine, Mom, just tired. May I be excused now" Sleep was sounding good right now.

"I guess, but Hector's still coming for dinner tomorrow. And so are you."

"Fine, fine. I get it. I'll be in my room if you need me."

"Ok" everyone answered back at me.

When I made it up to my room, all I wanted to do was sleep. Unfortunately, if my mom came in, then she'd be mad because I didn't do my homework. Blah! Homework. Who needs it? I looked over at the windowseat and wished Jesse was here with me. The real Jesse. Not Hector, Jesse. Hot, kind, caring, dead, Jesse. But, no matter how hard I wished, he wasn't coming back. Father D had already told me enough about it, but that didn't stop me from wanting him back. My room just wasn't the same.

Finally, finishing my last page of math, I could finally go to sleep. I was nine, so my mom would just think that I had konked out while doing my math. Good. I set my alarm for the next morning and dozed off.

**Otay! sorry again that it's short, I've been busy. What with my sister going to have her baby, everyone in my family being sick, and spilling my mom's rootbeer all over the keyboard, I've had plenty to deal with. I promise that I will try hard for a longer chapter eight. Gosh dang that 't' key! it just won't stop sticking! gargh!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ohh My gosh! Not only did I miff up my keyboard I BROKE my keyboard! The spacebar doesn't work anymore! I had to dig out the ancient one. The one w/ the sucky keys. They're so little! I'm going to unscrew the bottom to the other one soon and see what's wrong. Thank you sooo much for reviewing! **

**Chapter EIGHT!**

**Suze**

When I woke up, on time this time, I got ready and asked my mom to drop me off on her way to work. It would make me like a half hour earlier. Jesse always was there on time. It was like he didn't live in his little apartment, but in the rectory. He had better be there.

My mom was happy to drop me off, and glad that she got an extra fifteen minutes of "bonding time" with her little Susie. Oh how sweet. Let's all go have a bonding session right off.

It took her a minute, but eventually she did ask why I wanted to go to school so early. I just told her that I had a meeting with Father Dominic. She assumed that it was for my job as the vice president, but you know it wasn't. So far from it, in fact.

At last, at the Mission, I hopped out of the car and ran into Father D's office.

To say he was surprised to see me was an understatement. He was chatting with none other than..._Paul and Jesse!_ Just the two people I wanted to see. Well, not Paul, but, you never know. He might come in handy for some questions I had...

They were in the middle of discussing _me._

"Susannah? Why in the world are you here so early?" Father D.

"Suze? What the hell are you doing here at this time? Don't you like to sleep in?" Paul, obviously.

"_Querida_? What brings you here...oh shoot!" Jesse. So I'm back to _querida_ am I? That HAS to be a good sign.

"Uh, I came to talk to Father Dominic. And Jesse actually. Now that I think of it, Paul might happen to know too." My witty reply.

"Well, Susannah, we were just discussing you, as a matter of fact, weren't we boys? Shall we let her in on the discussion?" Jesse and Paul looked hesitant. Paul more so, and Jesse anxious. He had looked so...strange, all week long, and now I'm getting clearer on that.

"Uhh" Paul and Jesse both said at the same time, "Sure. Why not." Wow. Jesse and Paul in _agreement_ for once. I never thought I'd see the day!

"So? What's the scoop?"

**Jesse**

I'm going to have to talk to Father Dominic about this, I kept telling myself all day after Susannah saw my poems. I didn't get a chance to go that day durring classes. That test that was in my French class, my only class not with Susannah, was much harder than I thought. I was going to go to the Father's office and talk to him if I got done with that test soon. But it took me almost all class long.

I took the bus home to my apartment, and went to go lounge around on my couch. That's what I did every day when I got done with school. Occasionally, I would reach for the pad of paper and the pen that I kept in a drawer in the coffee table, and write down another poem. My marroon binder was always nearby. After writing another poem, I would punch holes in it and then stick them insde, increasing my already large collection.

Tonight though, I just sat on that couch, with the cat that Father Dominic gave me. Spike. I remember that Spike would love me as a ghost. Cats, the strange creatures, would love you as long as you fed them, let them sleep on your feet, and pet them as long as they felt like it. Demanding furry beasts, but I my Spike is all that I have. Right now. I may have Susannah soon. Only twelve more days.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The next day, I found myself sitting in Father Dominic's office with Paul. We were discussing my life and _Mi Querida._ I don't let anyone know that I find myself thinking up all that I want to say to her in Spanish. Paul was telling Father about my progress in the medical sense I guess, they were very technical. My mind began to wander, and then I remembered. I hadn't seen this one before.

_I was standing in a long hallway, many doors before my eyes. The ground was covered in fog, and it bit about my legs. I was dressed in old fashioned looking clothes. This must be the Purgatory that ghosts get sent to. It's terrible here. All I want to do is go back to Susannah's and my room. _

_It hits me hard then. Just as I was begining to like her, she sends me here.thinking about this, I feel I have to be with Susannah. Why on earth is she calling me now? Doesn't she know that I cannot return to her world now? But I have no choice. I have to go. _

_When I get to her, I am surprised to find that she is up here! "Susannah, what are you doing here? Are you- you're not-" She laughs and answers,_

_"Dead? Me? No, no no. No. I just, um," This was interesting. I wonder if she likes it up here. "I came up here because I wanted to, um, you know, see if you were al right..."_

And it ends. Shadowland. I _hate_ that place. Many times it has haunted my dreams. I see a door. Single, and before me. As I try to open it, I wake up. I reach down on the floor for my binder. I am finished writing it. It only took a minute, but Father Dominic and Paul never noticed that I was writing. They were immersed in something unknown to me. So I just ignored them. As I began to wake up from my daze, I remember what Susannah was wearing in my dream. So beautiful. I wonder if she still has that dress...

**Okay! I am so sorry once again that it took me FOREVER! but you know, with a new baby and TONS AND TONS of algebra homework, it's not easy to type and think of a new chapter. Wow. This one is SHORT! sorry again for the long wait. Please review, and ignore the scary new chocolate rice crispys bars. ew shudders lol. **

**luv**

**Kath**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey! I finished chapter nine! **

**and this one, unlike all the others, has a name!**

**hope you like it! Thanks to all the reviewers that review my story. I'm glad that people like it, and need some ideas. If you have any about what I can do to make this story interesting, tell me! I want to hear all of them!**

**and now, chapter nine! Kissing in the Breezeway**

**Suze**

"...So you see, I really did want to help you. I realized that it just wasn't going to work out between us. Obviously Jesse loved you, and I just selfishly wanted you with me." Wow. What a surprise. Paul was actually admiting that I wasn't supposed to be with him for the rest of eternity, developing our amazing shifting powers and our great love for each other. Yeah, like that was ever going to happen. "And another thing. I don't know if you want to hear it or not, but..." Ooh. This is getting good. Something that might be interesting. All of the things that he'd told me already I'd guessed. Hector really is Jesse, Paul did it, Paul still isn't very nice again... the usual. "Uhh, Jesse's not the same. I know you're not gonna want to hear this, but at any given moment, Jesse could drop dead." Jesse placed his hand on my knee, and I put mine over his. It seemed like he was the same Jesse, just modified a bit. Which was a good thing, don't get me wrong. I like it. Especially if he was going to live through this 'drop dead at any given moment' shit Paul was going on about. I believe him and all, I just really don't like his thinking.

I mean, it's just like him to jump into something headfirst without condisdering the outcome. The outcome here was

much more important. It's love and a man's life for goodness sakes!

"So, you're saying, Jesse could drop dead any second now. For the rest of his life, he'll live in fear of dying, never being able to have a family, or a life? He could be in the middle of a sentenceno wait! A word!and then BAM! you're dead? What the hell are you saying Paul? Tell me now!"

"Geez, no need to get worked up. See? I told you that you didn't want to hear that. But, there is something good about this. Trust me. I think you'll like this part. Better, anyway. See, the first month is when the 'subject'or Jesseis the most susceptable to 'immediate and fatal' heart attacks. And in order to prevent these, he is to stay in a sterile, isolated area. By the second month, Jesse shouldn't be as worried. He can go outside of said sterile, isolated area. But not too often. If he does, then he's more likely to kick the bucket. But by the third month, and on, Jesse's able to go to school, hang with friends, go to McDonaldsyes, Suze, I'm kidding. Jesse never went to McDonalds. Not on my watch anyway.pretty much anything he wants to do. But Jesse, all he did was go the freaking library and he made me drive past your place a few times, in the middle of the night no less, but that's not the point. He acted the same, read, eat, sleep, but the driving place was totally random and when I told him about you, he didn't remember you. He just told me where to turn, and soon, I knew that we were going to your house." Jesse was turning beet red, and slinking down in his chair.

"Ok, Paul, Suze, Jesse, school is going to start, and your homeroom teacher is not going to be pleased with me if you're late every day this week because of you, Jesse. So. If you will all come here for lunch, then We can continue this talk. Have a good day children!" Father Dom chirped at us as he left his office. I didn't feel like going to homeroom. I mean, after all, I had woken up extra early to come to school, and I didn't want to go. But, what choice do I have, I'd make my mom send me to that freaking shrink that she was talking about. I don't want that happening.

Oh my gosh! I just remembered that Mom had invited Jesse for dinner today! I forgot about that, and now that Jesse is really Jesse, maybe things could go a lot better. It'd be better than having Hector over for dinner. He zones out a lot. And now I think I know why. Gosh, I never even thought about him being Jesse after Father Dominic denied it for so many months.

Paul had gone to his locker, and I could hear Jesse behind me, walking slowly. I slowed down, and matched my pace to his. He looked at me, opened his mouth to say something, and then thought better of it, and stopped short. I said something instead. Boy I wish I hadn't now. "So, my mom invited you for dinner? 'Cause, if you don't want to go, then you're missing out, Andy's a pretty...oh. Never mind. Wait. Are you really the same Jesse that I knew as a ghost, and if you are, I have a question for you. You know when we were in the graveyard, did you mean that? I just want to know, because, oh. Oh. Did I just say that?" Nice Spazzy Susie.

"Umm, the graveyard, oh. The graveyard. Oh. Well." He was turning red again, and he stopped. So, to get an answer, I stood in front of him, so he couldn't walk away.

"You know, I thought you were feeling something there. I know I was." Oh My Gosh. I need full control of my mind. And quick.

"Susannah, I find this hard to say. I cannot lie to you, I" He sighed, " I think that I loved you from the time that I met you. Even now, I am attracted to you. Not just your amazing beauty, but also your personality. Your whole way of doing things. I don't know if I would go as far as to say that I love you, but I do...I do, I like you very much. Maybe, by spending time together, being together, I can learn what I was like as a ghost. Perhaps you could tell me? What better way to get to know you than to talk with you about, well me I guess. And dinner? Yes. Your mother invited me for dinner, _querida_. I'd be honored if you would let me come to dinner." And with that he took my hand and said, "We should go to class. Come on." I followed him, to shocked to speak. My hand was still in his, and he was so warm! Not like the ghost Jesse who was only half there most of the time.

"Jesse? I really want you to come to dinner, not just as my friend, but as...as my boyfriend?" I said this with uncertianty, I mean, he may not want to be my boyfriend. He might just want to get to know me better first, and then go out.

"Susanah, I'd love to. Now, what are you going to tell your mother?" Well, I'd tell my mother that I had finally found someone that I really liked, and that it was sudden. There. That should work.

And I turned to Jesse, flung my arms around his neck, and planted a big kiss on his mouth. His arms found their way around my waist, and pulled me closer. Kissing in the breezeway. How could you not love this?

**Otay there! Hope that one was a bit longer than the other one, It might be. I suck at fluff, so I'm going to practice at it, and I want you guys to TELL ME HOW YOU LIKE IT AND WHAT I CAN WORK ON! OK? ok. Thank you soooo much for your reviews! And if there's any spelling errors and crap, sorry. I have only crappy, crappy wordpad. And I can't find a spellchecker ANYWHERE! I hate that thing!  
**

**luv**

**Kath**


	10. Chapter 10

**OKEY! FINALLY! chapter TEN! I wrote it all down in my notebook durring history grumble dumb USHistory And then he moved me so now I"M IN HIS LINE OF VISION NO MATTER WHERE HE IS! I can't do ANY more writing durring when we're supposed to read the stupid chapter. It may take me even longer to get the next one. Unless he moves me back in the back. Cuz that's where I do alllll my writing Anyway. There are excerpts from _Darkest Hour_ and _Haunted_ Those are not mine! Please please don't get miffed at me for using them. All credit goes to Meg Cabot for those. WAIT! WHY in the heck is the city dude checking our water useage IN THE RAIN? hmmm they always like to do that IN THE FREAKING RAIN! strange, strange city of , Oh well. You're probably sick of me now. Thanks to all my reviewers! I"m glad there are people that are reading my story! Thank you!**

**CHAPTER TEN!**

**Suze**

Since Jesse had all classes with me, we decieded to get together earlier to do our homework. It was what he wanted, and plus, I got to spend more time alone with him.

After school, Jesse was at his locker, and I came up behind him and said, "Hey Jesse." as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He jumped a little, and turned around, still in my arms.

"Mmm, _Querida,_ what are you doing?"

"I'm giving you a hug! So, what time do you want to come over tonight? Andy's making quesidillas and rice. I think you'll like it. Oh, and dinner's at seven. My mom is so excited to have a nice boy over for dinner, that she forgot all about the kind of family bonding time that she was all set on. Thank heavens."

"How about five? Do you think your mom will be OK with that?"

"Oh she'll be ecstatic that you're coming over early."  
"Ok. Sounds good? I'll see you," he said kissing my forehead, "later. Goodbye, _querida_." Letting go of me, he walked down teh hall, away from me. I could hardly wait for tonight.

I found my stepbrothers out in the parking lot, and we drove home. When I walked in the door, y mom was all geared up to remind me that 'Hector' was coming over tonight for dinner. I told her that in fact, since we had all the same classes, that he was coming over at five to do homework with me tonight as well.

As I made my escape to my room, I called to her that I'd be up in my room if she needed me. It was already quarter to four, so I didnt' have much time to get ready for Jesse. I wanted to shower, do my hair, and change all before he got here. Oh, and my room could use a bit of cleaning.

After I got in the shower, and looked at the clock, there was no time to straighten my hair and still be ready when Jesse came over. Throwing on a pale, creamy, green shirt, and some jeans, I ran to pick up the stray clothes and junk that lived on my floor. It wasn't much, but then I noticed more, and as I was just finishing dusting, (!) the doorbell rang. Must be Jesse!

"Suze? Could you get that please? David and I are up to our ears in cheese in here." Andy must be busy. Oh well, I didn't mind answering the door. Opening the door, I saw Jesse standing there looking uncomfortable. Well, he wasn't the only one that was uncomfortable. I was too. And not just because I was having my boyfriend over for dinner, no. This wasn't any ordinary guy, it was _Jesse_. Alive Jesse. Like my whole world, almost.

"Hey Jesse. Relax. My family doesn't bite. I promise. Come on in." I opened the door wider, and he slowly came inside. I reached up and quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Turning bright red, he said, "Hello, Susannah. I missed you too. I brought English, math, and our history homework. Do you think that's ok?"  
"Yeah. That's fine." To Andy and anyone else that cared, I yelled, "Ok! Jesse's here, and we'll be in my room doing homework if you need us!"

"Wait, Suze, Bring him on into the kitchen. I'd come out there, but then dinner would burn up." I walked in with Jesse, and he relaxed just a little bit. Until we got to the kitchen, then he tensed up again.

When we got in we saw Andy flipping some quesidillas, and David stirring some rice. He didn't look up, until I spoke. "This is Andy, and you know David?" I sent him a look, like. Yes, you really DO know him. And he got it. Good.

"Hey, Jesse.It's nice to have you over for dinner tonight. Hey Dave, say hi?"

"Uh, hi Jesse." Poor David's eyes couldn't get any bigger. His memory told him that this was our ghost. And I had something to do with him.

"It was nice to meet you, sir. Hi David." Jesse is great! No wonder I fell in love with him in the first place.

"Well, let's go get started. Call us when dinner's ready?''

''Yeah. Ok."

We started up the stairs to my room. Jesse already knew the way, but how funny would it look if he was walking right up to my room, without ever having been to our house?

Up in my room, I flopped down on my bed, hoping Jesse would come and sit by me, but he went straight to the windowseat, just like old times.

"I remember. It's getting better. Something is telling me that this is just like old times. Is it for you?"  
"Yeah. That's where you were sitting when I first met you, and where you would sit while I slept, because you know, ghosts don't need sleep. But that was your favorite spot to sit."  
"Come, Susannah. Come sit by me. There's enough room for two on here. Now. What would you like to start with? I brought math, English and history." I got up and came to sit next to him. He was right, there was enough room, but just barely. My legs were squashed comfortablyup against his, and man, was it distracting. Jesse had changed, and for the better I thought.

Math, eh, we could do that last.History was a worksheet on the Civil War, and for English we were to read a story from our comprehension books and answer the questions. Gack. "Let's do history. It is the stortest. And easiest.'

Wow, I thought, as Jesse worked through the problem, he must really like doing this stuff.

After finishing the worksheet, and halfway through the story, I leaned my head down on Jesse's shoulder to look at the book. It was sitting on his lap, and he was waiting patiently for me to finish the page. He leaned his head down on mine and said, "Are you done?"

"Almost, Jesse. Ok. Now you can change it", This. Is. So. Freaking. Boring. Reading is ok when you get to choose the book you're reading, but comprehension stories just plain suck. "Let's finish these later. They're so boring. Come on, we can go sit on my bed and talk. Besides, there's more room over there than there is here. Not that I mind."

I got up and took his hand and pulled him up. The book fell off when he stood up, but I ignored it and left it there.

Flopping on my pillows, I patted next to me for Jesse to sit down. Akwardly, he sat beside me.

"_Querida..._" he started to say something, but I cut him off with a kiss. Exactly what I'd wanted for nearly four months. Paul's kisses didn't come within miles of Jesse's.

I was leaning over him, and he was pressing me down. It wasn't comfortable. It reminded me of when in eighth grade P.E. when we would talk, and the teacher would make us sit in push up position until we obeyed the rules. Loosing my balance on my arms, I gave way to the pressure Jesse was putting on my back. He rolled me over so that I was underneath him, and he put his hands on the bed, under my back. Much better.

**Jesse**

Finaly I was in Susannah's room, doing exactly what felt so right. I couldn't get too physical with her, so, I put my hands behind her back to remind myself. It brought back so many memories.

_I let go of her hand. "That kiss." And, suddenly, I felt better than I'd ever felt._

Only a fragment. I don't remember that day much at all.

_Especially, from talking. That's what I especially need a day off from."_ Talking

_"Fine. We don't have to talk." And I leaned down and kissed her._

"Mmmm, Susannah?" She sighed as I broke the kiss, but I was still laying on top of her, with my hands behind her.

"Yes Jesse?"

"Have I ever kissed you before this?"

"Um, well..." my question had left her speachless. "Yes. Twice actually. do you remember them? The first time you hurt me so bad by ignoring me. It made me think that you actually didn't like me, but were just kissing me to toy with my emotions. Oh. And your ghost used to haunt my bedroom for like a hundred and fifty years. Then you and Father D decided that it wasn't proper for you to stay in my room, our not being married and all. That just crushed me. Father Dom doesn't really know about the second kiss, I'm guessing. That was when, when...when..." She paused, remembering, "when you...left." Oh. I should have known.

"Oh, _Mi Querida_. I didn't know." I said as she started to cry. "Don't cry because of me. I'm here now, I loI'm fine. We're together, I'm going to meet your family. Don't cry because of me, _amor_." I'd almost told her something that I wasn't exactly sure of myself. I think I love her, but I"m not sure. I wouldn't want to falsely lead her on when I am at such great risk of dying. Especially when I am at such a great risk. It's not even my life anymorer that I worry about. Its Susannah's life and happiness now.

"It's not that I'm sad about, I'm just so happy that you're here and alive, and everything. You mean so much to me. I don't knwo if I could live again if you were gone. I almost wasted away the first time." She looked caught in a trance for a moment, and then realized what she said. Wiping her eyes, I noticed that her face was turning red.

"SUZE! DINNER!" Someone bellowed from downstairs. Presumably, Brad.

"OK! I"m coming!" She yelled back, and went to wash her face in the bathroom. Even with red eyes, and a tearstained face, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever known. And I could feel myself falling further into love with her. In the mirror, she caught my gaze, and smiled at me. How lucky was I?

"Come on. There wont' be any left if we don't hurry. I know those pigsI mean, stepbrothers of mine. They eat everything." Grabbing my hand, she opened the door and we went downstairs. I followed her into the dining room, where there were five people sitting around a table with two empty chairs. These were Susannah's and my chairs, next to her mother.

"Susie! Did you finish your homework?" Her mom squealed at us.

"Kinda. We got our history all done, and most of the English" She winked at me to tell me that we really did do the English, instead of what we did do.

"Yes, ma'am."  
"Hello Hector. How are you?" Susannah's mother asked me.  
"I'm doing fine. You may call me Jesse if you want. Everyone, except Susannah and Father Dominic, call me Hector." To Andy I said, "Dinner smells good, sir." I first pulled out Susannah's chair for her, waited for her to sit, and then I sat down in my own. Brad stared at me, looking stunned.

"_Susannah?_ No one calls you that Suze! And if they do, you deck 'em!" Brad bellowed at Susannah. He's so mean to her sometimes. Does he not know how to talk to a lady? Especally the one I love. Yes. Love. I feel better about loving her. It's all settled in my mind.

"Yes, Brad, I know. Thanks for telling me, as I am not aware of what I like and do not like to be called. Besides. Jesse is different." She looked at me, "I have tried to get him to stop calling me that, and he won't. But it's ok. I don't mind. Too much." She smiled at me, and passed a bowl of rice to her mother.

As I waited for everyone to get their food, I saw Brad and Jake heap massive ammounts of food on their plates, and immedietly begin to stuff it in their faces. After David had gotten his quesidilla, and Susannah's mother got hers, I began to eat, slowly.

My headache was returning, and neither eating, water, or ignoring it was making it any less intense. My vision began to blur, and I felt dizzy. Surely this wasn't going to be major. If I just let it pass, I'd be fine.

Or that's what I thought until I started to see black spots, and then heard Susannah say faintly, "Jesse? What's wrong? Are you...Oh my..." And all went black.

**Ok. As I wrote this end, and now while I'm typing, I kept getting the shivers and crying! I hate doing this to you. Cliffie! I'll hurry. I wanted to hurry to post a chapter. and I am.**

**Enjoy and I'LL HURRY I PROMISE! THANKS FOR READING AND DON'T HURT ME FOR THIS! thank you. this has been a message...nevermind  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok. Here's chapter eleven! Thank you for reviewing and I hurried as fast as can be! lol. enjoy...er. sorta. Disclamer ((eh. I forgot it. sorry.)) to Meg Cabot. Her characters. Not mine. Well, there USED to be a song by LINKIN PARK in here, but since all of the stuff goin on w/ sonfics, I had to take it off. Sorry it's kinda spacey without the song in here, but listen to BREAKING THE HABIT or read the lyrics or something. it's good.  
**

**Suze**

"Jesse? What's wrong? Are you...Oh my...MOM!" I yelled as Jesse paled, and fell into my lap. Oh My God. What happened to Jesse? Something's wrong with Jesse. He's not ok. Oh my gosh. Something happened. Oh my gosh. I am panicking!

Brad, dense as could be, looked up from all of his food and said to me, "Gosh, Suze, what'd you do to him? Way to make the guy feel welcome, why don't you?"

"Shut the hell up! Why the _hell_ do you _think_ he collapsed? Any ideas? NO? That's what I flippin thought!" He just stared at me, openmouthed until Andy broke in.

"Susie, watch your language. Brad hasn't done anything to the boy. Brad, be _quiet_ for heavens sake! We need to get Jesse to the hospital now. Dave, go call an ambulance. Tell them that he uhh, just tell them something. Jake, help me get him off Suze and into a comfortable position."

I was too far gone to help. I watched from a different place as Andy and Jake moved Jesse to the floor, my mom propped his head on some chair cushions, and David came back into the room on the phone.

"Um, well, we were having dinner, and he just turned white, and fell into my sister's lap. No. I don't know. Here. Let me ask. Um, Dad, is he breathing at all?"  
Jake answered him "Yeah. But not much. Just tell them to hurry!"

"My brother said that he is. And to hurry. He said that he might not be ok if you guys don't get here. Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. Oh. 99 Pine Crest Road. Ok. Thank you!" He hung up the phone and walked over to us. "Suze? Are you ok? I mean, you're crying pretty hard. What's wrong?"

"No. I'm not. My boyfriend just collapsed into my lap in the middle of dinner. He's not going to be ok!" I sobbed at him. My mom heard me and started to talk to me

"Oh, Susie! He'll be fine. The ambulance will be here in a second. They'll make him all better. I promise." But what if they _can't_? Then what? What will I do?

My life will just fall apart again. And my luck, he'll probably go straight to heaven, or where ever he's supposed to go. What if he DIES? Oh my gosh. I just THOUGHT it!

As I was spazzing in my mind, my mom wrapped her arms around me and held me close. I heard the ambluance roar up the street to us. The sirens got closer and closer to us.

Men in white suits put Jesse's lifeless looking body on a strecher. Oh my gosh. I can't watch.

They ask who rides with him to the hospital. I do. As I get in, clutching his hand tightly, they close the doors on us, and two of the guys in white suits. They unlatch me from his side, and start hooking him up to monitors to give him medicine, and watch his heart on the way to the hospital.

We're going fast. Fast is good. The faster we get there, the faster Jesse wakes up. I want him to live so badly. _Please don't die, Jesse. I love you so much. What would I do without you?_

The sirens ring in my ears as we get out of the back. Jesse's hooked up to a bunch of rolling things, and I'm past feeling now. Just numb. They roll him in on the pure white, in to a pure white room with a pure white bed. It's too white. He's going to be unhooked from the other machines and put on new ones. My mom arrives with Andy and David. She's looking worried. David just looks confused. Poor David. I wonder if they made him come.

Maybe it was me. Did I do something to him? Was it because I kissed him? What did I do wrong? Can't someone tell me? There has to be a reason why this happened.

Paul. It was _him._ I can blame him. It's not my fault. If Jesse dies, I can just kill Paul.

Father Dominic shows up too. I guess my mom must have thought that I or Jesse needed him. And I do need him. My mom and Andy left to go get David something to eat, they'd be right back. "Oh, Father Dominic! I'm so glad you came. We have to call Paul. Maybe he can make it better somehow. He was the one that started all this. Please?"

"Susannah Simon? Father Dominic? Paul Slater? I have you listed as primary people to contact in the case of an emergency. The doctor needs to know his insurance, and his immediate family to contact."

"His family has passed on. I am in charge of the boy until he is of age. I'll go give them the insurance. Will you show me where? Susannah? Here," He handed me his cell phone, "Call Paul. Maybe he can do something. It's worth a try."

"Ok." I found his number saved in the phone, and diailed it.

"Hello?"

"Is Paul there? Tell him it's an emergency please."

"Ok. Paul!" The guy shouted.  
"Hello? What's wrong?"  
"Paul! You've got to come to the hospital. Jesse was at my house for dinner, and he just fell into my lap! There's something wrong with him. You have to fix it please!"

"Ok, ok, I'll be there in a second. Hold on."

"Thank you Paul."

He came, but not as fast as I thought. My mom and everyone else was still eating, and they wouldn't let me in Jesse's room until Father Dom finished the insurance crap. "Paul! I'm so glad you finally came! Thank you so much!" I hurled myself in his arms. This surprised him, but he just hugged me and said

This surprised him, but he just hugged me and said "Suze. It's ok. I think I know something to help him. It seems he's had the post-recussitation heart attack that I'd thought about. Come on. You're getting my shirt wet. It's going to be fine! Come on! They have to let us in. Father Dominic put me and you down as important people. That oughta get their attention." I unwrapped myself from him, and walked close to him.

At the desk, he said, "We're here to check in on Jesse deSilva please."

"He's not supposed to have anyone in his room. We're contacting his family right now."

"But he doesn't have any living family right now! We're the closest thing he is going to have to family for a long time! May we please just go see my boyfriend now?" I exclamed to her.

"Sorry miss, Doctor's orders. We'll send someone out to let you know."

"Excuse me, but we are the people on his contact list. I am Paul Slater, This is Susannah Simon, and where is Father Dominic again, Suze?"  
"Oh, he went to go fill out insurance papers."

"And Father Dominic is here also. Now may we please go check in on him?"  
"Oh. Yes. You may go on back. He's in room 408. Be quiet though. If he's resting, you don't want to wake him." Resting, my ass. He freaking passed out on my lap and you're saying he's _resting? _Yeah, right.

Paul must have noticed my expression, because he said, taking my arm, "Come on. Jesse's going to be fine. He is just resting." I followed him down the hall and into a random room. I don't even remember which room the lady said.

The room we walked into was painted peach, and the blinds were closed, making the room dark. A small beeping noise broke free from a few machines next to Jesse. The bed was up so it looked like Jesse was sitting up, just waiting to play Scrabble. But he wasn't. He was sleeping, with a _tube in his nose!_ Paul saw what I was looking at and said, " Don't worry. He's fine. That's just there to monitor his breathing. And if he stops breathing, it'll keep going for him. But that's not going to happen, so, don't be thinking about it. Come on. I brought the papers.

"If you want to revive him, he won't wake up on his own. It's like he's in a coma, and you're the cure. Or someone that loves him is the cure. I assume that you love him, or you wouldn't be getting so pissed right now, right?"  
"Yeah. I love him. What do I have to do?" I was becoming more calm about the whole thing. I'd give my life right now for Jesse to be alive and whole again.

"You have to go sit next to him, and take both of his hands in yours. Say this incantation after me." He said some sounds and letters, and I copied them. "Ok. Now, I want you to tell him why he needs to wake up. But hurry, before it wears off.

Leaning down to him, I whispered in his ear. "Jesse. You have to wake up this instant. I need you. If you were to die, I dont' know how I could go on with my life. It'd be unbearable without you. I love you so much. It's not Paul that I love, It's you. Please, please wake up, Jesse, I need you. I love you."

His eyelashes fluttered, but he didn't wake up. "Jesse!" I said louder, "Wake up! You're not allowed to be in the hospital anymore! You need to come back to my house, finish your dinner! You didn't eat anything. Come on, please, do it for me?" Louder I repeated it. " I love you Jesse. Please wake up." Tears were falliing down my face, and landing on him. Again his eyelashes fluttered, but this time, they opened. We locked eyes, and I burst into tears.

"Paul! We did it! Jesse! You're awake! Thank you God! I'm so glad you woke up! How do you feel?"

"Susannah, thank you. I could hear everything going on. I love you so much too. Paul," he turned his head to Paul, who moved closer to us, "thank you so much for watching over _Mi Amor_ today. Thank you for coming. You are truely a friend." Paul sniffled, and I saw that tears were falling down his face.

"Thanks Jesse. I never should have been so nasty to you. You really are a great guy. Since you're the lucky man who has Suze, I want you to take care of her, ok? Don't keep her from me. I want to be friends with you two. You're the most family to me right now."

"Yes. We can all get along now. Thanks so much Paul, for putting up with me. For backing down lately. I didn't need someone up in my face for so long. You're one of my best friends."

Paul pulled up a chair, and he grabbbed one of my hands and held on tight. We cried for so long. Tears of joy this time.

Eventually, Father Dominic and my family showed up in the door. Apparantly, that witch of a nurse had tried to keep them out too. They got in, how, I don't know, finally, and were pleased to see that Jesse was fine. Seeing Paul, they stopped.

"Paul! How good to see you! I'm glad you came. Thank you for what you've done for Jesse."

"Oh, I owed it to Suze. I'd been so rude to Suze over the years that I've known her, and now, I realized how I had to make it up to her. And Jesse. He is a great guy."

"Thank you Paul." I whispered again. "You're a great friend. Now, all we need to do is find you a girl!" This made everyone laugh, and Paul actually blushed.

"Well! I'd better go get the doctor. Mrs. Ackerman? Would you come with me please?"

"Sure." my mom said, confused. My time had come. I had to tell Andy and David something. Jesse would help. Paul would help. It felt totally right. I'd tell my mom when we got home. And Jesse came over. The right thing to do.

"Andy, I have something to tell you."

**Ok. I dont' know how many chapters there will be after this one, but I felt good typing it all up. The words seemed to flow out of my fingers! It was great! If you have ideas about it, I'd love to hear them! ((hint hint)) lol.**

**Yeah. I thought it was great with the song in there, but if you just look for BREAKING THE HABIT ((or listen to it)) and find the lyrics, then you'll see. **

**thanks guys!**


	12. Chapter 12

'Andy, I have to tell you something. Dave kinda knows. But, did my mom tell you how I snuck out repeatedly, and usually got brought home by the cops?'

'Yeaha. Sorta. Why?' I was about to explain, when my mom walked in with Father Dom. 'Why what? What were you guys talking about?'

'Oh. You might want to just listen. And Father D? I think I might need your help with this.' I continued my explaining.

'Well, all of that was to get rid of these people constantly bugging the crap out of me. They were everywhere, and only I could see them. They all wanted to hurt my mom, Gina, or me. And I couldn't let them do that.

'But, the thing is, these people were dead. And when they came to me, they wanted to live again, and I don't have the power to make that come true. So, they'd threaten me, and I'd get into a fight, they'd make a mess, and someone else would call the cops on me. Resulting in me getting brought home by the cops.

'So when we moved here, I was hoping to start over. But right from the start, I wasn't liking my luck. You and everyone else--the people, are fine, but it was other things. The house--old. I hate old buildings---'

'Because someone was likely to have died there?'

'Yeah. And they did. The ghost there died in 1850, he was murdered by his cousin's--who turned out to be his fiance too--secret boyfriend. He stayed in this world for nearly a hundred and fifty years, watching life go by without him. Imagine all the things he saw--inventions, new technology, all the people that lived in that one room--until I came. I was the only one in a very long time that had talked to him, and if I am right, the first ever to love him.

'Don't get me wrong, I wasn't too happy to have a male roommate. I wanted him gone, and fast. But, some time later, I grew attached to him, after he'd saved my life a number of times too, and fell in love.

'I met other mediators in Carmel, too. Paul, for one, and Father Dominic too. But when I was working at the Pebble Beach, I met Paul's little brother. Well, I guess I met him before I met Paul. But, Jack, Paul's brother, was in the same situation as me. He had different ideas about it, however. He thought that all the ghosts wanted to kill him. It scared him to death. I reassured him, and helped him out a little, and he met Father Dominic, everything was good.

'When it came to his brohther, though, he was mad that I had teased Jack, and had taken advantage of his 'condition'. Their parents took him to all these different doctors, and they were sure that he had a mental condition. In order to not tell their parents he threatened me to go out with him. I didn't. But one day, he got me to finally go out with him, and during that time, he exorcised, or got rid of my best friend.' I continued to tell him about Jesse and getting exorcised, and Paul moving back to California, everything that needed to be said.

I was getting near the end, saying something about my dad, when he popped up. 'Hey dad.'

'What? Your father is here? When?' Mom wanted to know.

'Just now.'

'I kinda heard some of the stuff. What's this? Jesse? What happened? Where did you go? You're alive? Congratulations, son!'

'Hi Mr. Simon.'

'You can see him? Since when?' Apparantly, I wasn't the only one that was confused here. We're all a bunch!

'Well, I've been alive for what? 4, 5 months?'

'Four.' Paul said. Oh. I'd forgotten all about him.

'Ok, four months, I've been alive. Paul said that this is an after-effect of becoming alive. He is the one that made me alive in the first place. And Susannah, I didnt' know that I could do that because I haven't seen any ghosts since I was one. I sure would've told you or someone.' Of course. I should've known that.

'Susie, I really have some questions for you, but I think I need to sleep on this before asking them. Can we continue this in the morning...or later? It's already two in the morning! Come on Andy, David. We need to go sleep. Susie, you stay and watch Jesse. Jesse, you have to come finish dinner sometime. Oh dear, we left all that food out. I hope Jake and Brad had the sense to pick all that up for us. Goodnight you two! Goodbye Father, Paul, it was nice meeting you, I hope you'll be around the house more often. See you in the morning!' And with that my mom left the room, taking all the energy with her.

I hadn't realized that she was holding me up, until she left. Jesse looked droopy, and Father Dom sloooowly walked out of the room, quietly. All I wanted was to sleep, and Jesse of course.

The moment I'd been waiting for was finally here: I was in a room...alone...with Jesse. But it was a hospital, after he'd just suffered from a heart attack brought on by something Paul did. Romantic eh?

When I looked over to him, his eyes were drooping, and he was looking at me. Tiredly, he motioned for me to come lay with him on the bed.

Hesitantly, I crawled up next to him and snuggled as close as I dared get. Soon, we were both asleep.

* * *

When I woke up, my mind was all fuzzy until I saw that there was a lady poking and prodding Jesse.

Wait

Jesse?

Then my mind hit the end. _Oh_! Memories hit me from last night.

Jesse was waking up as the nurse pulled tubes and things out, took his temperature, and did other pokey nursey things to him. He must have been as fuzzy as I was when I woke up if his face was any indication.

'Hey! You're up!' I said as the cranky nurse left. 'Feel any better today?'

'Yes. I'm quite hungry though. I want to get up. Will you help me, querida?'

'Uh,' was he supposed to get up yet? Could it hurt him? And then I saw him struggling to get up on his own. 'Wait. I'll help you.' I got up to the other side of his bed and half walked him to his mouse hole--I mean...bathroom.

Then I saw the, um, view. Whatever unseen force residing inside me made me _giggle_ I curse it.

Whatever.

Then he noticed.

'What? I'm only going to the bathroom. Is there something wrong, querida?' And he noticed the...draft. His face colored as he covered his backside, muttering about hospitals, and hobbled into the bathroom.

I looked around the room for Jesse's normal clothes, but didn't see them. Until I looked under the bed, and there they were.

I guess Father Dom had stopped by Jesse's apartment to grab his clothes, because there were some sweatpants and a T-shirt in a belongings bag.

Funny, I didn't know Jesse owned sweatpants. He doesn't seem to be the sweatpants type, to me anyway.

Knocking on the bathroom door, I called, 'Jesse! I think you'll like what I just found.'

'Yes, Susannah?' He poked his head out the door and looked at me. I held out the clothes. 'Good! I'll be right out. Thank you, mi querida,' he closed the door.

When he came out, he was wearing these enormous pants...and a very sexy looking old shirt. It didn't look that good in the bag. But then, those pants didnt' look that big in the bag either...

'Is it just me, or are these rather big?' Jesse asked me pulling on the side of his pants.

'Well...they weren't that big a minute ago. Or when you bought them right?'

'Buy them? I think I know my own size in pants. Besides. I wouldn't buy a...' He turned around to look at the tag poking out of the shirt '...an X-L? I don't remember buying any sweats anyway.'

'Well, you dont' look too bad in them to me...sexy even.'

Father D walked in happily saying ' Jesse! You're up! I see you found the pants I bought last night! I didn't see any when I went to get you clothes at your house, and so I bought some. I guess they're a bit too big then.'

'A bit? He's like drowning in them! But you know, it was nice that you went to get some. Maybe I could wear them as maternaty pants when I get married and have a kid.' I joked, with a smile on my face.

'I didn't know Jesse's size, so I just bought those to be sure. And they are drawstring, so he can tie them up. Paul was the one that took him to find the clothes that day that we decided that he could go outside some time ago. Speaking of, where is Paul? Is he coming by today? I want to have a talk with him.'

'Nope. Dunno. I was too fried last night to do anything but breathe and blink.' Getting two blank stares, I explaned, 'Tired. I was too tired last night to do anything but breathe and blink.'

'Oh. Well, I'll go call him. By the way, Jesse, when do you get out of here?'

'No idea, Padre. I'll tell you if they tell me later,' Jesse told him with a grin.

Father Dominic didn't notice, however, and said, 'I'll go check. I need to make a phone call too. Are you guys alright? Need any food or anything?'

'No, _Padre_, I'm fine.'

'Yup. Me too. I'm good.' He strode out the door, and turned left to the nurses' station.

'Tuesday. Day after tomorrow,' Jesse said absently. His grin was getting bigger.

'What? You mean you just wanted to get rid of Father D so we'd be alone?' Things kept getting better and better...

'That and I wanted to get him back for not getting me a normal size in these pants. He knows my size. And that I don't need an X-L.' Wow. Jesse was really acting more modern. He would never did this when he was a ghost. He was really catching on (not that most people send a preist on a chase for something because said preist bought an X-L pair of pants...) 'Yes, and I wanted to say something to you, Susannah. Come here,' Softly, he said to me.

I made my way over to Jesse, and took his hand. It was so warm. He gently pulled me closer to him, and wrapped his arms around me. I was begining to like this new Jesse that had replaced that ghost I fell for so hard, so long ago. Even though it was only like, six months away, but you know, it seems like longer.

I could feel his breath on my neck, and I burried my face in his shoulder as the tears threatened to come. I felt him open his mouth to say something, and tears dropped in my hair. I squeezed him tighter and waited for the words.

**Sorry Guys for the wait! but with all the various REVIEW PACKETS my teachers all decided to DROP on US! You'd be busy too right? Especially if your sucky old ANCIENT pre-algebra teacher didn't TEACH YOU A DARN THING then you'd be sunk for you algebra test. Because, it's not an algebra core test, it's a pre-algebra flippin REVIEW CORE TEST! sorry. I'm angry at that, and I didn't have hardly any time to do the homework, much less check my email because I have to babysit my sweet little neice who likes to SCREAM really loud when you put her down to do a problem, or type a word, or write a word, heck, even finish your page of an awesome book like Twilight... Not that I value all that stuff more than her, I had just been holding her for the past h our and a half ususally. So, you know, now that I'm done yelling at my wordPad, I'll go type my waiting chapter 13 for you guys! **

**luv,  
Kath**


	13. Chapter 13

**Eh. Not major fluff. I'm not any good at the make out scenes that everyone loves. more Practice. Hope ya like this chapter. Thanks for being so supportive of everything...You guys rock! everyone that reviews and you guys that read it anyway...I'm hoping to get the next chapter out BEFORE next weekend.**

**Enjoy.**

**And disclaimer...I don't know how that goes, but I haven't mentioned one for a while. I do not own the Mediator characters or anything else like that. Just cuz I haven't had a disclaimer for a while..**

My heart was thumping, and I was breathless. Could this be what I'd lived to hear for while I'd been in California?

'_Mi Querida,_ my memory may have been failing me now, but my heart has not been. All along as I found myself in an unfamilliar time and place, I felt the same with you.' My stomach dropped. Did I overestimate this? 'I am begining to remember my feelings as a ghost. They were not for me to feel, while I was dead, and you were alive. No one could see me, save for Father Dominic, and Paul. After dark and lonely days creeped into weeks; weeks into months, and months turned into a century and a half, I began to wonder if my afterlife would be empty and silent for the rest of the earth. If God had completely forgotten about me, and forsaken me.

'One day, however, a man and three boys walked into the room, speaking about a new family, and a bigger house. Soon a woman joined them.' He was no longer holding me close, but had put me at arms length, to look at my face. 'As I realized that, like all the others, they could not see me. No one had seen me in a hundred and fifty years.

'Soon, my room had been turned into a frilly, pink room, fit for a baby girl. There was no crib, but belongings for just a girl. When I had heard the brothers talking excitedly about their new stepsister, and I expected that a girl of seven or eight to come in.

'What I did not know, was that the love of my life would walk in, and steal my heart right out of my chest.' Don't tell me he's going to be in love with my mom...just kidding. I know he's not. Unless it's Andy...

Nah. I'm just kidding again.

'You, my angel. I cannot tell you how it pained me to watch you pine for someone unknown to me, as I was alive. It was heartbreaking to watch and not know. There was always a feeling, deep inside of my heart that would not go away. Gradually, as I spent more time with you, then I knew. It was you.

'The poems, I know were strange, and I never wanted anyone to see them, and when you saw them, I was excited and frightened that you knew of my love. I knew when we were working on, homework, that day, so long ago. Was that only Friday night?

'What I'm trying to say, I think, _querida,_ is that...I love you. More than you can ever know. There, I"ve said it, and...'

'Jesse!' I said throwing my arms around him, and squeezing him as tight as I could. 'I love you just as much! I've been waiting for the longest time to say that, to hear you say that too.' My heart was singing, and I was flying on a cloud of love. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and held fast to me.

'I'm so happy that you feel the same way, I love you, Susannah.' He couldn't seem to say that enough.

'I love you too, you know. Now what about Father D?'

'What about him?'

'Well, do you think he'll...approve?'

'And why wouldn't he? We are old enough. I'm almost out of school, and your mother doesn't seem to mind if we were going out anyway, right?'

'No. She likes that I've finally found a social life. And you're most of it, so what can she do? Forbid me from seeing you? She can't stop me from seeing you can she?'

'I hope not. I don't know what I'd do...' How long we stood there, I don't know, but we jumped apart pretty quick when Father Dom walked in.

'Well, I'm glad to see you two like this. I was wondering how long it would take for you two to figure it out.'

'What do you mean?' I asked, wondering.

'Susannah, you mean you don't know how it was? Couldn't you see Jesse walking around not hearing anyone, looking for someone that wasn't there? But you, you just seemed so depressed after Jesse was gone. I'm so happy that you two are doing much much better. By the way, I called Paul, and he and I are going to meet, so I have to run. Would you like to come with me, Susannah?'

'Um, no. I'm good, thanks. See ya later Father D. Nice seeing you today.'

'Thanks for the pants by the way,' Jesse said dryly.

'You're welcome, Jesse. Feel better. We'll be seeing you both in school soon right?'

'Um, yeah. So, I'm clear for staying home tomorrow?'

'Of course! I'll excuse you, and make sure that your teachers know what happened, and then get you your homework. Not that there'll be much because of your hard weekend. Some of your teachers will excuse you from the assignments. You too Jesse.' Obviously not my classes with Sister Ernestine. Mr. Walden, maybe. Sister Marshe for sure. She's the biggest pushover. Ever. In the history of JSMA, anyway.

'Thank you Father Dominic. I'll be there as soon as I can.' Jesse answered happily, pants thing forgotten.

Father D waved, and walked out the door to go see Paul.

He and I had become sort of friends, but sometimes I didn't trust him. Like when Jesse had dissappeared. I think I pretty much hated him then. I didn't want to see him, much less be in his presence for months after that. When I didn't know that Jesse was Jesse (does that make sense? Jesse, Hector that didn't remember a thing, was Jesse, Jesse that I loved, sort of thing?) for like three months or so, I decided to let it go.

When I found out about the whole 'let's bring Jesse to life and conveniently take him away from a wonderful...

Guess I didn't get to that part huh?

Well, it all started that day in the graveyard, after Jesse had just grabbed me and pulled me into one of the most amazing kisses in my life...most of them are from him, but you know, it works doesn't it? They're still amazing right?

Anyway, we had made it on to the ground, and were laying side by side, my hands wound through his hair, his hands creeping up the back of my shirt. We were both clearly enjoying this. Fireworks were going off in my head, and I imagine that if anyone had wandered down the path to Jesse's grave, it would've looked pretty strange.

My tounge hanging out in the middle of space, stroking someone elses invisible head, sighing to myself. Repeating 'Jesse' over and over again.

Back to the point. This went on for too short a time for me. Entirely too short. One minute, Jesse was there, and we were having a great time, the next, he was just gone. I was there, on the ground, by myself.

And in the back of my mind, I knew he hadn't gone anywhere because he'd been too forward with me. No. I knew he wasn't going to be there for a long time.

That's why I burst into tears at the thought of no Jesse.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry about the confusion. Yeah, the last chapter was mostly a flashback. I don't think I have the heart to kill off any of the characters. Especially not Jesse. I don't think I could do that. Not to mention everyone would want to KILL me or something. And I'm thinking that this chapter may be one of hte last ones. Maybe I'll go a couple more. Review and tell me. I'll post a couple more chapters or an epolouge. **

**And the songfic thing, I changed Chapter 11 so that there's no song in it. GARGH! that means more work...oh well. I'll have to figure it out. Thanks for supporting this. Please tell me if you want like a date chapter I was thinking or what. Ending it here would be fine for me...So here ya go**

**Chapter Fourteen!**

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That day. When Jesse was just suddenly gone changed my life forever. And not for good either. 

It was like before I came to California, and met Jesse. That was Before Jesse. After I knew him and turned out to like him, was After Jesse. And when he was gone, that was the biggest turning point. Depression. Denial. The hinge of my life, swinging back and forth from depression, counselors, normal days, days that started out fine. Only until my mind reminded me that I no longer had a reason that I wanted to live for.

Sure people say that I'd want to live for my family, my friends, I'd find a new love, this would work itself out in the end, but I didn't believe them.

I think the only one thing that kept me sane (kind of.) and from killing myself was the hope that someday, I would see Jesse again, and my mom. My mom kept an eye on me ever since that day when she picked me up from the mission, sobbing and dirty. The white pants with black cami and white long sleeve blouse that were clean and new-looking were covered with dirt and grass. She didn't ask questions as I burst into tears and lay my head down in her lap while we were still in the car, even on the way home. She just held my head in her lap for about an hour after we even got home. Andy ran out to the car to tell us that dinner was ready, but soon stopped and didn't make us come in for dinner.

The remarks that I got from Brad, and even Jake, were suddenly punished. They got weeks of grounding for making make-out jokes about me. They obviously didn't see that I had been _crying_ and I was _clearly_ in pain over _something_. Never even occured to them that I didn't appreciate the PMS jokes that I got for being such a bitch all the time to them.

Well, you know what? They so asked for getting the uber-bitchy treatment _and_ the humungous groundings that came their way.

David was the only one that didn't say anything, well except the time that he asked me if I wanted to trade him rooms (again, yes, nice eh?) because, as he said, he was just doing his part as 'the only _nice_ brother' in the house.

The strange thing was that I accepted his offer, and we moved our stuff the next day.

Two days after Jesse was gone, and I had my own bed, dresser, mirror, night table, phone, and even rug, in a different room. There was still a window seat, it just had a blue cushion on it.

We couldn't find any way to get my pink cushion off of my seat in my room, or David's off of his seat. They were stapled or something, not a smart idea. Why on earth would they want to permenently stick a baby pink cushion on some window seat is beyond me.

Not only did my mom keep coming up to my room every once and a while --at least three times a day--she had my friends calling, and popping in randomly 'just to visit'. Even Kelly and Debbie called. Just because they wanted to tell me all about the latest break-up/make-ups that had happened while I was gone for a while. Surprisingly, I liked these calls because they helped me to think about someone other than myself, and move on a bit.

But only a bit.

**

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**

'_Querida,_' Jesse's voice broke through my painful memories, and brought me back to my life. The life that I could endure. . .I think.

Well, I'm pretty sure I can endure it. After all, I've got my wonderful family, yes even sometimes Brad's not that bad, great friends, and Jesse, of course! What more could I want.

Turns out some private time with my boyfriend would be nice. . .but that's just a suggestion.

Hospitals, they put you in there for rest and recouperation. No wonder so many people die in the mental institutes. They are never considered 'rested' enough to escape--I mean, get out--sorry, be considered better. I'm happy that Jesse is only here until Tuesday, which is only day after tomorrow.

'Yeah?' I answered him.

'My arms are a bit tired from standing like this. Mind if we go sit on my bed?'

'Sounds great. You must be hungry. When was the last time you ate anyway?' I think it was at dinner when he almost died.

'At your house. I didn't get to eat very much either, now that you mention it. Actually, I am hungry. What time is it?'

'Ten thirty. Lunch is served here at noon? I don't know. I could run down to the cafeteria here and buy some food. What kind of sandwich would you want?'

'Are you sure you have money? I can wait until noon, when I think the lunch cart comes.'

'No. I have money. I want to buy you something. You've done so much for me, and I can buy lunch for you. No big deal. Now, what kind of sandwich do you want? I think I'm going to have a turkey sanwich. My mom mentioned that they were good.'

'Turkey works for me too.'

'Drinks? Chips? Cookies? All you want is a sandwich? You can have anything you want, you know. Just say so. . .'

'Whatever you are having to drink, I want the exact same thing as you, _mi querida_. I'll see you in a minute. Have I told you in the last five minutes that I love you?'

'Yeah. But you can say it all you want. I love you too. I'll hurry.' And I walked down the hall to the elevator.

Down to floor one, take a left, then a right, and all of a sudden you're in a room with lots of fake plastic plants. And fake plastic trees. Trees do not make any inside place feel homey. They just sort of make the room look unnatural. Strange. Yeah.

They have some kind of music playing softly in the corner from a radio. There's a spot where you buy your fountain drinks, and a counter where you can order hot food. The register stand is piled high with cheap candy and sodas. Near the candy, they have fridges with all kinds of sodas. The sandwiches, it turned out were just bags of bread, and the condiments in a serve-yourself fashion.

I picked out some bread, and made two sandwiches for Jesse and myself. After grabbing two packages of potato chips, and some lemonade, I paid and went back upstairs.

To say that Jesse liked the sandwich would be an understatement. He devoured his, his chips, and half of my food. I wasn't that hungry.

'So, I take it you liked the sandwich, right?' I asked him after he had finished eating all the food that he could find.

'Yes, _querida_. Thank you for lunch. Are you sure you're not hungry? You only ate half of your sandwich and your chips.' He looked worried that I'd given him my sandwich and was still hungry.

'No. I'm fine. It looks like you used the sandwich better than if I had thrown it in the garbage, right?'

'Now I not only have to go to your house again for dinner, I owe you dinner as well.' He was pretending to look all put out, but still sexy at the same time.

Sigh.

'Well,' I said, playing the game with him, 'only if you. . .I don't know,' I jumped up from my chair and climbed on the bed next to him. 'Maybe if you give me a kiss I'll go out with you.' I teased.

His eyes changed from playful, to soft and loving. As he drew me over to his side, I could feel my heart swell up. When he placed his hand on my cheek, I leaned in to meet him halfway.

Jesse's kisses, while being filled with love, make me feel like I am more loved, more beautiful, than anyone that I know. Anyone on the planet. They are so great. Not much description, but I still wish that that nurse hadn't walked in then.

We were comfortably relaxing on the bed and kissing. His hands were behind my neck, and running through my hair, and mine were on his chest, exploring the hottness that is Jesse.

Sparks were flying around the room as his hands moved further down from my head, and mine moved anywhere they pleased.

He wasn't stopping me, and I was going to do what I wanted.

Except from the nurses here. They have the worst timing ever.

Then someone from the door says 'Ahem! Can I _please_ take Mr. de Silva's stats for,' she looks at her watch, 'the eleven rounds? I know that you two were having a nice reunion and all, but I think that he needs his rest.'

Like he's going to get it here. Right. With grumpy people bursting in every two hours to take temperatures, blood, look at their watches and 'ahem!' at me. Not to mention disrupt 'bonding time' between us.

Finally, she left.

But, it was too late. She had totally ruined the moment.

'I'm glad that I get to get out of here soon. What do you think, _querida_?'

'Yeah. This place is so busy all the time. And the people here just. . . don't like me I think.' He chuckled, and wrapped an arm around my waist.

'They are busy, but I don't think they hate you. I don't hate you.

'Isn't it amazing, that we finally get to be together? And I'm alive?'

'Sometimes I can hardly believe that things are so good right now. I have a great family, great friends, but most of all, a sexy, great boyfriend,' I said as I snuggled up next to him.

My life is great.

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**So. That's Ch.14. If you think it should go on, then tell me, otherwise, I'm going to end it here.**


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